the kinsers adopt(ed)

Lessons From a Toddler Boy

2011-08-12T16:32:00.000-07:00

1. Injuries heal faster with "Cars" band-aids (and just because you don't have an owie does not mean you don't need a band-aid)

2. Climb everything. Literally.

3. "Mess" is a relative term

4. Whichever parent is not nearby is the one you need the most

5. The food on someone else's plate tastes much better than your own (Mom's tastes the best)

6. If your hands get dirty, just wipe them on Dad's jeans

7. Leafy greens are the enemy

8. Mud puddles cannot be resisted

9. Your shoes must come off immediately in the car, but then stay on in the house (especially if you are following rule #8)

10. Noisy toys are the best -- the noisier, the better!

11. If you liked a food yesterday, be sure to refuse it today

12. You must pick up every stick you find (Every. Single. One.)

13. Wait until the car gets on the freeway before you ask to go potty

14. They can't get mad if you say "love you" or make a cute face

15. Your day isn't done until your parents are completely exhausted

Wordless Wednesday

2011-08-10T20:26:00.000-07:00

Wordless Wednesday

2011-07-27T19:19:00.001-07:00

Don't Look Now. . .

2011-07-26T19:36:00.000-07:00

. . . but our baby is growing up!

Check out what happened last night:

Yep, I came home from running errands to discover that Jake and Solo had taken one of the sides off the crib. We've been talking about it for a while and figured it was time, since some other developmental milestones are ticking right along. And boy, does Solo love it! He was so proud to show Mama his "biga boya bed" as he calls it. Wonder of wonders, he stayed put there ALL night, and was just quietly singing to himself this morning when Jake went in to get him up.

I have to say, this age is really pretty fun. Yes, we have the toddler meltdowns, and those are never great to deal with, no matter what. But we have a lot of great moments too, when Solo's personality and independent spirit really shine through. My heart swells with pride when he asks for "more book" at bedtime or when he shares his toys with another kiddo, without any prompting on my part. And watching his imagination spark is really something else -- as he makes his trains talk to one another, or when he apologizes to his beloved Nimmy (Woody from Toy Story) for pushing him off the chair ("sowwy Nimmy").

These are definitely exhausting times -- how is it that this small boy has twice the energy of Jake and I put together? -- but oh so worth it. We wouldn't trade away a minute with this little man!

At Dinnertime

2011-07-21T20:39:00.000-07:00

Right now, in East Africa, the worst famine in nearly 60 years is raging.

Somalia is being devastated by the drought. Starving families are forced to leave their homes and walk miles to refugee camps in Ethiopia, Kenya and Djibouti. These nations already have significant food shortages due to drought, escalating food prices and political instabilities. Food, shelter, and clean water, already scarce throughout the region have in some places simply run out.

More than 11 million people within the region are in need of food assistance, according to the CBC. In Ethiopia, nearly 4.5 million people are threatened.

According to CNN, nearly half a million children are at risk of succumbing to disease or death.

Families are watching their loved ones fade and die, even as they press onward toward the refugee camps and the hope that they will find help. Many cannot even stop to bury the dead.

There are many reasons this has happened, and no shortage of analyses of the causes and factors that have exacerbated the problem.

Bottom line for us: does it really matter why? Does it make a difference to a hungry child if the lack of food is due to political unrest or embargoes or price regulation or poor leadership? Does it make a difference to the mother who watches her child die, and is powerless to change anything?

As I write this, we've just finished dinner, at which we had more than enough with food left over. Too much, if the truth were told. My son ate his fill, then pushed his dish away, a luxury millions of children do not enjoy. I wonder what his reality would be if he were in Ethiopia now. Would Solomon have enough to eat, tonight? Would he have clean water to drink, and a place to lay his head? Though with us, he loses his homeland and his culture, he has food, shelter, all the comforts of life in the United States. This is an exchange no one should have to make.

But what of all the other children in the Horn of Africa, children just like our beautiful Solomon, who are going to bed with empty bellies and emptier hearts? How can we not think of them, at dinnertime, as we fill our plates with all we need and more?

If your soul bleeds for the families in East Africa, as ours do, please help. Give what you can. Every bit matters, and there are many ways to donate. Here's one. Here's another. There are many more. Please do what you can to stop the ravages of disease and hunger.

Some Thoughts From Daddy

2011-07-20T16:58:00.000-07:00

It's been a very long time since I posted my last blog. It's been over a year since I became Solomon's daddy at the international arrival terminal at SeaTac. So many wonderful things have happened since that late May day that it's hard to nail down one thing. In that time I helped teach my son to walk, played trains with him for hours, and in general have had some of the most wonderful times I can remember.

Fatherhood has been such a unique experience, and it continues to surprise me. I can truly say that Solomon is the most clever child I ever met. We call him King of the loopholes, as he seems to be able to seize on the smallest detail and exploit anything we happen to have left out. At first it's a little frustrating, but now I actually admire the fact that my small two-year-old son can outsmart his father.

I won't lie. Parenting is hard. If anybody tells you differently, don't believe it. I have had less sleep, less time with my wife, and less personal time than at any other point in my life. But I've also had many laughs and other wonderful moments with my little cocoa bean. It made all the trouble that we went through absolutely worth it. I look forward to bedtime stories, bath times, tickle fights, playing bubbles, and playing choo-choos. I look at my son now and see how much he has grown, and wonder where my little baby is going. But I really look forward to seeing the man he's going to become.

It's been one heck of a ride so far, I can't wait to see what Solomon does next. I love you kiddo.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-07-13T20:31:00.000-07:00

Wordless Wednesday

2011-07-06T13:02:00.001-07:00

(No, he never actually got *in* the pool. At least not voluntarily.)

O-O-P

2011-06-24T14:46:00.000-07:00

Wow, are we ever growing by developmental leaps and bounds these days! Solo turned two last month while we were in Hawaii -- pictures of the trip to come, I promise -- and it was like the second the calendar page turned over, he shot into full-on toddler mode. Yes, that means some tantrums and a lot more "Mine!" and "No, Mama!" (oh joy). But it also means a lot more fun stuff too, like better hand-eye coordination, which helps us throw the ball at least somewhat close to where we intended it to go. And a huge desire to help with everything, from putting clothes in the hamper to shutting doors to feeding Maxie to loading the washing machine. Suddenly everywhere I turn there are extra hands ready and willing. I'm constantly reminding myself to find ways Solo can help me out, and I love his willing spirit of cooperation.

The big thing, though, is language. Up to this point Solo's been pretty much a man of few words. I was slightly concerned for a while that he might be behind the curve, just because he wasn't actually using many of the words that we knew he knew. But recently we've figured out that likely has to do with his desire to know exactly the right word before he says something -- so he may ask us "Dat?" a thousand times before he feels comfortable calling the round red fruit "apple", for instance.

But in the last month or so, it's like someone opened the floodgates and the language has come pouring out. Solo's picking up three or four or five words a day, at least, and remembering and incorporating them. So far today, for instance, it's "wash", "mattress", "button" and "handle". He's getting concepts too -- empty and full was a big one, as was open and shut. And he is stringing words together more consistently and in interesting ways. For example, today at the park he pointed out the lamppost by calling it "tall light". My favorite was when he referred to the library this morning as "book park". Yay!

And wow, are books ever the thing right now. Trains and cars remain the toy of choice, but second to that is reading. We must read 10 or 20 books a day to Solo, and he is soaking in every word like he can't get enough. I try to remember to run my finger over the words as I say them (a trick for encouraging literacy that helps kids make the connection between printed text and spoken words). And Solo's picked up that habit too, as he seems to be recognizing the relationship between the letters and the story they are telling. This morning when I was packing up for our bike ride, he was sitting with a book in the living room, pointing to the words and saying "O-O-P" (as in, the part of the alphabet song that goes "LMNOP", Solo's own translation of it). I love watching him "read" to himself and hope that this is only the beginning of a long relationship with books.

Watching this little man grow and change is a true pleasure for both of us, one that keeps us laughing and constantly on our toes. Every day is something new!

Wordless Wednesday

2011-06-22T19:26:00.000-07:00

Above and Beyond

2011-06-19T09:00:00.000-07:00

I may not have made it clear through the pages of this blog, but Solo has a pretty amazing daddy.
Seriously.
Let me count the ways:

Jake does the whole morning routine himself. Because of my work schedule, Solo’s often still asleep when I leave in the morning. This means that Jake has to get up at the crack of dawn so he’s completely ready when I leave, then wake up small son, get him changed and dressed, get his things together and drop him off at daycare. And then scoot off to work himself. If you’ve ever chased a toddler around in the morning, you know this is no mean feat.
Jake can make a game out of anything (even putting away laundry) but he enforces the rules too. Although everyone thought it would be the opposite, I am absolutely the pushover and Jake is absolutely hold-the-line. Yet another way I know he loves his son.
During the semester, Jake takes care of Solo pretty much all day Saturday and many Sundays too. And he never makes me feel guilty if I need to spend extra time working on a paper or have to fine-tune a Power Point without a clingy toddler around. My GPA thanks him.
I’ve needed a new bike for quite some time now and have been wanting to get a trailer so I could take Solo along with me. The other day I went into the garage to discover a new bike complete with a ride-along attachment for Solo, fully assembled, prompted by no occasion other than he knew I wanted it. That’s an awesome guy.
Night-time wakeup: Daddy. Haircuts: Daddy. Can’t settle down at bedtime: Daddy. Learning to build the train track: Daddy. Lego truck comes apart: Daddy. He’s the go-to guy.

Before Solo came along, there were a lot of question marks in our lives – childcare, schedules, responsibilities and how things would change. One question mark that never appeared in my mind was whether or not Jake would be a great daddy. I always knew he would be, and it is a true joy to see him parent our son every day. There’s a lot we’ll never be able to give Solo, but one thing I am glad he does have is a father who loves and cares for him in the best way possible.
Happy Father’s Day, Jake. We love you.

New Venture

2011-06-17T16:11:00.000-07:00

It's summer break! I'm loving the extra time and freedom to read, blog, catch-up on life and play with Solo. One of our favorite pastimes recently is riding the bike (or "yike", in Solo-speak). Good exercise for me and fun for him, and he especially loves to tell me to "go, go, go!".

And I finally found the time to start a new project that I've been kicking around for quite a while now. Go check it out and let me know what you think -- comments, suggestions, feedback welcome!

A Year in Review

2011-06-12T18:50:00.001-07:00

The Kinsers Adopt - one year later

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Wordless Wednesday

2011-05-25T19:12:00.000-07:00

Dinner Conversation

2011-04-16T15:23:00.000-07:00

Sol's big right now on learning new words, and his latest favorite game is compelling Jake and me to say them too. This is a spin on his "Dat? Dat?" behavior, where he centers in on an object and then asks what it is over and over until we are ready to scream (in a good way). Now, he knows many, many more words, and so the fun is in making Mommy and Daddy say them too. It's hilarious, really.

So, here's our dinner conversation from the other night. We were having pulled pork with rice and beans (and vegetables, too, but those are beneath a toddler's notice).

Sol, pointing to a bean in his bowl: "Dat?"
Me: "Bean" (this is repeated approximately 87 times until he can say it himself)
Sol: "Beeeen". Points at me -- "Momo, beeeen"
Me: "Bean"
Sol: "Dada, beeeen" (points at Jake)
Jake: "Bean"
Sol: "Maxie, beeeen" (points at Maxie)
(Silence, obviously, since the dog doesn't talk. Out loud, at least.)
Sol: "Yah, beeeen. Momo, beeeen"
Me: "Bean"

And around and around we went, until we were all laughing. Though I think Sol's still waiting for Maxie to say "beeeeeeeen".

More Sliding

2011-04-11T15:06:00.000-07:00

The boys went to the park on Saturday morning. Much fun had by all. . . and they didn't freak Mommy out with these pictures until after they were done.

Catch-up

2011-04-05T16:30:00.001-07:00

So, it's been a while.

Life's been crazy, hardly an excuse for the absence but still true. Balance, balance, balance. We're not there yet, but we're trying. It's been a tough semester for me workload-wise, and when that happens I tend to shut down anything extra, in this case, the blog. Also, Jake changed jobs (same employer, new department) and that messed with our schedule a bit. Plus we’ve been planning a combination birthday/family day trip to Hawaii in May – which I personally need in the worst possible way.

We're also trying to decide the future of this blog. We started it not only as a way to keep others updated on our adoption, but also so we'd have a way to record milestones. We felt it was important to share our story with other families, especially those with disabilities who might be struggling, as we did, with whether or not having a child was even possible. And all of those things are still important to us, but that notion of privacy keeps nagging at us. Still, we want to remain connected to all the friends we've made throughout this process, so we're considering maybe a new blog is in order. . . you see where I'm going with this, it's all just more than a bit muddled still.

In the meantime, Sol's growing like a weed, learning new things every day and keeping us constantly entertained and feeling blessed. He is funny and smart and loving and mischievous and so, so curious about everything. It’s hard to put into words what joy he brings into our lives, at every turn.

And, because it has been so long, some shots of the man himself, and a few of his favorite things!

Watching “Cahs” (“Cars”)

Blueberry pancakes!

Trains with Dada

“Sy-ide”! (slide)

Testing mom’s kicks!

Fashionista

2011-02-20T09:49:00.001-08:00

Lately Solo has been more interested in his clothes. This often involves him ~~pitching a fit~~ expressing his desire to wear certain things. The other night, ten minutes before bathtime, he put together this little number.

We have to wear our Thomas shirt at any opportunity. Bonus points if we can combine it with our (light-up!) Man-Man shoes.

We can’t pass up a cool hat, naturally.

This is my personal fave (sometimes Mommy wins!)

Ah, toddlerhood!

Referral-versary!

2011-02-06T16:30:00.000-08:00

OK, so I'm a day late in posting this, but it just goes along with the theme of "how having a child will change your life" (to put it mildly). BUT, yesterday, February 5 marked the one-year anniversary of THE CALL, and the first time we saw a picture of our beautiful boy.

Amazing, incredible. I don't have any concept of where that year went because I swear to you it was just yesterday that our case manager called my cell phone and asked if Jake and I could get together in one room and call her back ASAP. And we did, after arranging who was going where, and then trying to find a place in my building where we'd have both cell reception and privacy. And we must have had somewhat of a coherent conversation because then somehow we were back in my workspace, loading up the computer and scanning through the documents, and then holding our breath and clicking on the picture.

And that was pretty much it for us, because we both fell, HARD. We were dazzled. And though we did all our due diligence as we would for all the big decisions in our life together, we just knew to the depths of our soul that this was our boy.

I don't know how we'll remember this day with Solo when he's older, or what it will mean in another 10 or 20 years, but I do know one thing for sure -- it was the day everything changed, when all the waiting/worrying/wondering was suddenly 100% worth it.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-02-02T18:38:00.001-08:00

Solo-Speak

2011-01-21T19:34:00.000-08:00

Being that it pretty much poured down rain all day today, our regular Friday errand-running routine of library, grocery store, Target, etc. was seriously curtailed. So instead we set up a major train installation in the living room, did some laundry, baked cookies, cleaned the kitchen and I did some pre-semester reading while Solo (briefly) napped.

And I had a good chance to sort of mentally catalog Solo's burgeoning language skills, which I thought I'd tally up here for posterity and all around general interest.

"Yah" (yes), which he says to pretty much everything you ask him, including "do you need a time-out?"
"Gank-u" (thank you), even sometimes when I change his diaper
"Peeeeese" (please) -- so cute, and he knows it
"Cuh-kee" (cookie)
"Crak-kah" (cracker)
"Cah" (car), "ahm" (arm), "haht" (hot) -- all of which make him sound he has a Boston accent. Go figure.
"Byeeeee" (bye) -- and one time "byeee pee-pull" (bye people)
"Pumpa" (pumpkin)
"Duuuuuude" (dude), Daddy taught him that
"Whu-oaah" (whoa), I think that was Daddy too
"Yeeee-haaaahhh" (yeehaw!), Daddy again
"Tee" -- which can, depending on context, mean tree, train, James or Thomas (two of his trains), or even t.v.
"Baaaaak!" (back) -- as in, Maxie is at the back door
"Keee" (key) -- when he hands me my keys
"Ax-ee" (Maxie)
"Dah-dah" (Daddy) and "Mah-mah" (Mommy)
"Man-Man" (Spiderman)
"Whaaaa??" (what?)
"Baff" (bath)
"Kit-tee" (kitty), impressive since we don't have a cat!
"Nanny" (his beloved daycare teacher, Miss Nancy)
"Kruk" (truck)
"Guy" (for all his Little People figures)
"Eeeeettt?" (eat)
"Cheeeezz" (cheese) -- his hands-down favorite food
"Dat?" (that) -- the classic
"Stah" (stop) -- usually if you're tickling him
And today, a new one -- "agua?" (water) -- which he said plain as day as he was reaching for his water cup

It's kind of amazing for me to consider that when Solo came home, eight months ago this weekend, he didn't really know any English at all. And now he knows it well enough to use all these words in a variety of contexts. But to be honest, there are still some we need help translating -- anyone want to take a crack at "Bwa!"???

Seven Days. . .

2011-01-13T12:30:00.001-08:00

. . . zero bottles. Kicked the naptime/bedtime bottle thing cold turkey. Way to go Solo!

Wordless Wednesday

2011-01-12T12:35:00.001-08:00

De-lurking

2011-01-11T19:33:00.000-08:00

National Blog De-lurking Week was officially last week, but as per the norm around here, I'm a bit behind. So I'm recognizing this as the week of de-lurking. If you've been steathily following our story, now's the time to show yourselves! Introduce yourself, make a comment, ask a question, etc. etc. (Don't worry, I moderate the comments so I can keep things private if you like.)

And in the spirit of reciprocity, not only am I inviting readers of this blog to come out of the woodwork, I've also been de-lurking myself, for some blogs that I have read and followed for a long time. These bloggers don't know it, but their words were, in ways large and small, responsible for helping me maintain my somewhat tenuous grip on sanity throughout the adoption process and once Solo came home. I honestly don't know what I would have done without these folks, and that's no exaggeration.

Here's to meeting new friends, reacquainting with old ones, and opening up whole new dialogues. Happy de-lurking!

Snow? Snow!

2011-01-09T19:32:00.001-08:00

After a rocky start (Solo’s cold turned into croup, making for a couple of rough nights), it’s turned out to be a pretty good weekend around these parts. Ethiopian Christmas was Friday -- Melkam Genna! – and our friends Andria and Kevin came up last night for an Ethiopian feast. While the adults ate injera with shiro wat, beef tibs and curried cabbage, our resident Ethiopian boy held out for a quesadilla. The irony of that was lost on no one! Oh well.

Then this morning we woke up to about 3 inches of snow. After breakfast we overrode Solo’s (many) objections and ventured forth. And, after a brief fit of standing on the porch shaking his head, he found that he really, REALLY loved playing in it!

Trying it out

We got THIS much!

His first snowball

Come on, Maxie!

Snow plow

Hey guys, this is FUN!

Let me tell you right now, playing with our own kiddo in the snow – yeah, that pretty much lived up to all our expectations. Even if my fingers were freezing!

On the Mend

2010-12-29T16:28:00.001-08:00

A week in and Solo's latest cold seems to be slowly resolving. Poor guy went into his first Christmas with a double ear infection, and just has not been himself the past week or so. While he was excited about his gifts, he was also very tired, fussy and generally out of sorts. We tried to keep things as low-key as possible but the overstimulation took its toll.

This week he's out of daycare and home with me, fortunately. Unfortunately both Jake and I have picked up his bug (me first, so I was feeling pretty crummy from Christmas Eve on, and now Jake is in the midst of it). I had planned to get some things accomplished during this mini-break from work and school. Not a lot, of course -- knowing I would have a toddler in tow changes the agenda -- but still, some errands, some reading for next semester, outings with Sol. Instead we have stayed pretty close to home and I've spent most of my time keeping a sick kiddo as happy as possible. Thank goodness for all those new toys and books!

On the bright side, I’ve built and rebuilt the train setup about 400 times, read books until my voice gave out, and made countless trips up and down the hallway pushing Mr. Man on his new trike (can’t wait until his feet can reach the pedals!). Now, if only those were the things I’d put on my to-do list. . . .

Kinser Family Christmas 2010

2010-12-27T21:25:00.001-08:00

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Merry Christmas to All!

2010-12-25T09:57:00.001-08:00

Wishing you every blessing this Christmas!

Christmas Cookies

2010-12-20T20:45:00.001-08:00

Before I went back to school a few years ago, every Christmas Jake and I would do what we affectionately called “The Big Bake”. We’d spend one full day, sometimes two, baking all sorts of cookies, from macaroons to peanut clusters and beyond. Then we’d pack them all up, dozens and dozens of them, into tins and deliver them to friends, family, neighbors and our respective work places. It was loads of fun and a nice way to brighten everyone’s holiday season. Of course, it was a lot of work, too, so when I started school, “The Big Bake” had to go.

This year, though, we thought it would be fun to do a “Little Bake” – just a couple of kinds of cookies that Sol could help us decorate. Yesterday we baked them up and then after dinner settled in with sprinkles and frosting, all ready to make some Christmas cookie magic. Sol was pretty interested to start out with – he’d been smelling those cookies all afternoon and asking “Cuh-kee?” since he woke up from nap.

OK Dad, let’s do it!

I get to pour this stuff right on there? Cool!

Maybe we should take a quick tickle break. . .

And wow, I could really use some milk. . .

And if you’re having milk, you might as well have a cookie too!

Oh yeah, Christmas is pretty great!

He lasted through about 10 minutes of decorating, 5 minutes of cookie eating, and then was off to play with his trains. Maybe next year. . . .

Rainy Sunday

2010-12-12T16:02:00.001-08:00

Raining like crazy today, and all I want to do is curl up with a good book or a Christmas movie, play trains with Solo, bake cookies or even take a nap. Instead I am neck-deep in schoolwork, wading through journals to find articles about emergent literacy and library catalogs as I try to finish my last two papers of the semester. This is day three of the grind and I’m going on about 20 hours of writing this weekend. Luckily the end is in sight, and I’m ready for it. Unluckily I’ve already gotten some early reading assignments for next semester. Sheesh, how about a break, people?

The boys took off earlier for an adventure at the Children’s Museum, to give me some space to finish up. I so want to be there with them. I know this school thing is for the greater good for all of us but can’t help feeling a bit sad that I’m missing out on the fun. Boooooo. In the meantime, though, Jake’s good enough to send me the occasional grainy cell phone photo of Solo in action – as he put it, that boy can find a train anywhere!

Thankful

2010-11-25T09:07:00.001-08:00

A few things that I am thankful for this year:

Trains in the living room

A kitchen that’s never completely clean

Artwork on the fridge (a handprint turkey!)

Maxie (looking good for almost 11)

Funny faces

Bad decisions. . .

And good ones. Sol’s adoption was finalized last Friday, National Adoption Day, here at home. It’s official, we’re a family! And we wouldn’t have it any other way.

To family near and far, friends old and new, all those who have laughed with us, cried with us, hoped and dreamed and wished and loved with us – we are thankful for every one of you. Happy Thanksgiving!!

Snow!

2010-11-23T21:00:00.001-08:00

Not even Thanksgiving yet and we’ve already had our first snow. We woke up to around 3-4 inches of the white stuff on Saturday morning. Sol was fascinated at first, standing at the back door and asking “Dat? Dat?” about eleventy billion times.

Then we suited up to go outside in the cold. First came the snow pants and boots:

Then came the hat, mittens, and big coat. The boys were ready for action!

At first Sol was curious and up for an adventure, so I carried him out onto the back lawn:

But, with the northeast wind blowing directly at us, he quickly decided that he’d rather be inside playing trains.

No seriously, Mama and Daddy, I’m done.

Why is this stuff so COLD??!??

Sorry, Maxie, I just don’t want to play right now. I hate weather!

Ahh, now this is better!

Guess ski lessons are out for this little one. At least for now.

Trick-Or-Treat Firsts

2010-11-17T21:26:00.000-08:00

I have been very neglectful in my duties of keeping this blog as updated as possible on the adventures of Solomon. The day seems to have a few less hours in them once my boy started walking. I am going to rectify that by giving an update of the last few weeks, starting with Halloween.

Halloween was great as Solomon got to go trick-or-treating not once but three times. He put on the costume for both Mary and my co workers and rocked both places of business. The ladies of the library hooked him up with some very nice treats. Per usual he put on his Solly charm and ate the attention up. Then he swung by the college where my boss, Miss Jenny, had properly prepared everyone there with goodies and trinkets from the bookstore. There were even some of our student employees who came in on their day off to see him. I will confess it is kind of like being Mick Jagger's dad (although we got a babysitter out of the deal so I am not complaining).

Saturday we discovered that downtown Bellingham had scheduled their trick-or-treating on the 30th so we donned the dragon once again and made our way down. It was just Sol and I, which was probably good as I think Mary would have had trouble seeing us in the mass of eclectic characters (my favorite was a young girl in a felt "meat dress" ala Lady Gaga). He didn't quite grasp the concept of taking candy from strangers in the beginning but by the end he was working it like a pro (although he said "trick or treat"a ton in the car he didn't say it once when faced with a candy pusher). We even ran into another little boy, Binyam, who was adopted from the same region of Ethiopia. It was funny because they looked very similar and he has even been mistaken for Solomon. I see play dates in their future.

Sunday Mary and Solomon and I, with special guest Maxie headed over to historic Fairhaven to trick-or-treat their business district. It was a bit more crowded than the day before but we again ran into Binyam. Mary got to truck around with her little dragon as he loaded up his candy bag. The only blight of the day was a guy in a scary mask kind of freaked him out. Otherwise it was really great.

Monday did what it does best and Mary and I were back to work. Solomon went back to Daycare, and we all made it through the week.

On Saturday the 6th I took Solomon to his first comic convention, BellCon. He was as impressed as a 17 month old could be in a room full of books he couldn't touch. He did have some fun as I bought him a Spiderman (who he calls "Man-man") board book and some convention sketches for his room when he gets older. The cherry of that day though was after we headed to the car and I was putting him in his car seat, I noticed someone in a Spiderman costume going inside. I hurriedly got him out of his seat and made our way back inside where we ran smack into "Man-man". Solly just grinned and when I put him down he ran up to Spidey and gave him a hug. It made Solomon's day and he didn't stop saying "Man-man" even after Mary got home (Spidey was pretty happy too).

Now we are preparing to finalize the readoption on Friday (National Adoption Day) and yes I will post photos. We are also headed, like everyone else in the U.S., toward Thanksgiving where Solomon will be introduced to Oma's turkey and Aunt Kathy's famous sweet potatoes. More to come!

Teeth

2010-11-09T10:06:00.000-08:00

Oh yeah, have I mentioned? At Solo's last pediatrician appointment it was confirmed that all his early teeth are in and we're just waiting for two year molars. Considering they all came in two at a time, you can imagine that we are glad to be done with teething for a bit. Plus which now when he smiles, you get a whole lot of pearly whites -- case in point:

Halloween Week

2010-10-27T21:21:00.000-07:00

Those who know us, know we love Halloween. Always have in my case. Something about having one night where you can be anything. I look forward to passing this along to Solomon.

I have a bit of catching up to do in regards to our Halloween preparation. We bought Solomon's costume about a month ago (we are not unveiling it until Friday when he does a little trick-or-treating at our respective work places). Needless to say it is very cute and we will post pictures very soon. We also went out to get our pumpkins at a real live pumpkin patch. The folks at Bellewood Acres were great and supplied us novices with a pair of vine clippers and a wagon to carry them in (although Solomon thought it better suited him to ride in it, at least until he saw the golf carts -- then he wanted one of those). We all got pumpkins and were fortunate to have some very mild weather to carve them in outside. The first time I think I have ever done that before as it is usually too cold.

EEEEEEEWWWWWWWWW!!!!!

Now the plan is that Solomon will have maybe three days of trick-or-treating. As I said our workplaces, then downtown Bellingham, and lastly scenic Fairhaven (also for some ghost stories). Then back to the real world on Monday where Solly will be visiting the pediatrician for shots and TB re-test. You would almost think I planned it that way (MMWAAHAHA!!!)

Solomon's First Jack-O-Lantern

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

Highlight Reel

2010-10-19T22:09:00.000-07:00

OK, so I've been sliding by for a while now on cute kid pictures, but it's finally time to post something of substance. But since I've fried my brain tonight on my latest paper for grad school (search behavior! online catalogs! user demographics!), it's just going to be a snapshot of current Solomon happenings.

1. Solo is growing. Like a weed. Jake says all the time that he can't believe we brought home a baby (five months ago -- crazy, right?) and now we have a KID. By which I mean a curious, I-can-reach-that-remote-you-thought-was-high-enough, into-everything kid. Wheesh.

2. Language, language, language. Suddenly Solomon's trying really darn hard to say all sorts of things. But it's funny what things he tries for, the most unlikely of all. Like "pumpkin", which is his current favorite. Last week it was "hot", but more like "haht" (think Mayor Quimby from The Simpsons). Dead cute.

3. Along that line, Solo's curiosity about the names for everything remains undiminished. Jake recently put together a little table for his room. Every morning, we go through this routine: "Dat?" "Table." "Dat?" "Table." "Dat?" "Table." I think we're up to about six million of those now.

4. Right now his dexterity and fine motor skills are really growing by leaps and bounds. He and Daddy play trains every night (Thomas still reigns supreme), and he's learning how to put the tracks back together, how to push the cars through the station, how to run them all together to make looooooong trains. Sometimes he gets pretty frustrated -- it's clear that he wants to do lots of things that he can't quite manage yet. Patience, we're still working on.

5. Solo LOVES his new daycare, and we do too. He's at an in-home preschool now, with kids both older and younger, and two of the sweetest, most loving and skilled teachers ever. We've seen huge improvements in his socialization, and he's turned around many of the not-so-great behaviors he'd picked up at the first facility we tried. Best of all he is super sweet with Maxie now, and they are getting to be great friends (unless she goes all Dogzilla on the train tracks).

6. Food -- we went through an incredibly picky phase, where every single thing I gave Solo was cause for suspicious looks and loads of tantrums. The past couple of weeks things have been somewhat better, and tonight was one for the record books -- black bean chimichangas (with tons of veggies) and Spanish rice, and he ate more than either of us did! Go figure. Of course, tomorrow we'll be back to rejecting everything, naturally.

7. Routine is everything. Don't mess with it. Which makes life a little restrictive for Jake and me (date night? what's that??) but the trade-off is fewer toddler temper fits. The more we can avoid, the better!

Every day that goes by is full of surprise hugs, gigantic messes, silly faces, meltdowns and giggle fits, and one very, very tired set of parents. But it's all such a gift, so much more than we could have imagined, that we can't help but love every bit.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-10-13T15:04:00.000-07:00

We do love our books!

Incognito

2010-10-12T09:54:00.000-07:00

A superhero must maintain his anonymity

Strep

2010-10-06T17:46:00.000-07:00

Life is very full and busy for us right now, and for the most part that is a good thing. Until, of course, one of us gets sick. And that's happened a lot now that Solo is in daycare and we are all running in a million different directions. We sort of knew that he'd pick up a lot of bugs, and that we would too, but didn't really think through just what that was going to mean.

I've been feeling pretty crummy for the past month, off and on. A sore throat that would come and go, more headaches than usual, weird stomachaches, and just exhausted all the time. Didn't think much of it because, well, we have a toddler now, and don't really have the luxury of much time for reflection. But a couple of days ago I started feeling really, really awful, to the point where I came home Monday night and went straight to bed, missing dinner, playtime and most of the nightly ritual with Solo. And then Tuesday morning felt even worse, so it was off to the doctor for a diagnosis of sinus infection and severe strep throat.

Aaarrgghh.

Naturally this is the week when my first big paper is due in one of my classes, I have projects going on at work that I'd like to get underway, and the house already looks like a tornado ripped through it. And all I seem to be able to do is lay here like a big slug, occasionally gathering up enough energy to get some more water or try to choke down a yogurt. And all the while I'm thinking about my sick leave dwindling, hoping that the boy doesn't get something worse later, even though I know he probably will.

Strep sucks, big time.

Friendly Neighborhood Solomon

2010-09-29T20:31:00.000-07:00

I am totally going against the wordless Wednesday tradition but I just had to jump on and celebrate. After over two years of paperwork, background checks, and scrutinizing. And after 4 months of sleep deprivation, kids videos, and dirty diapers. I finally got to start the corruption of my son. As some of you might know I am a super fan of comic books (art and literature in one place..brilliant). I have been into them since I was just a little older than Solomon. I have a specific place in my heart for Spiderman. Tonight I hope to at least pass some of that love onto my boy in hopes that we will one day read comics together. If not at least I have this picture to make me smile.

Yep, Spiderman P.J.s. I couldn't be happier tonight if I won the lottery.

I will never do that.....

2010-09-22T21:07:00.000-07:00

Well it has been about four months since I made my last post. I look back and think about being in front of the computer with Maxie by my side waiting for our chicken pot pie to cook, and remember just how rung out I was. I hadn't even begun the journey of fatherhood and I was spent. But now we have had small son home for four months, FOUR!! I cannot believe it has been such a short time and what a special little guy he is. So much has happened in that time span I don't know where to start. Maybe to list what I always thought I would never do. I never thought I would wipe my child's nose on my shirt or bare hand did both of those in week 2 of Solly being home. Never thought I would not run immediately to a sink and wash with hot water when I had poo smeared on my arm and hand. Never thought I would voluntarily watch children's programming ( I can wax philosophical about Thomas the Tank Engine...not as bad as Elmo so I deal with it). Never thought I would get out of bed three or four times a night to feed/change/ or otherwise soothe another human life ( I really like to sleep). Never thought I would voluntarily wake up before 6:30 to get a kid out of bed fed and put on a really well acted morning person personality (I dislike mornings and am not truly awake until about 10 a.m). Never thought I would voluntarily hold him down for immunizations ( I don't do well with needles). Never thought I would spend 11 weeks with a kid and not lose my mind. There are many more things that could go on this list but the flip side of this is another I would like to share.

I never thought I would have a little boy try to climb onto my lap an give me a hug. Never thought that the sight of my little cocoa crispy smiling and greeting me at 5:40 would fill me with happiness (enough that the laser beams in my eyes didn't melt him into a kid puddle). Never thought I would get to go to the toy section and pick out toys for us to play with. Never thought I would get to teach my son to walk (not easy because I myself do not walk) or take him for his first and second hair cuts. Finally never thought I would have a son that I look at and see great possibilities for what ever he decides to do.

I am not going to lie, it has been very hard. More difficult than I ever imagined, and I am in a constant state of exhaustion as are all parents of toddlers. I miss being able to travel light, go to a movie at the drop of a hat, or even linger over a nice dinner. But I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world because at the end of the day when I come home from work all stressed out I get to see this.

And that was my wordy Wednesday.

We're Still Here!

2010-09-17T20:51:00.000-07:00

I promise! Seems like we might have disappeared, but we haven't. Still here, still living life with our boy and loving every jam-packed, crazy minute of it.

Here's how the days go, somewhat: up at crack of dawn, scramble to get ready and be at work early-early-early (for me). Jake gets Solo ready and off to his fabulous new daycare (which he loves beyond all reason and we do too -- seriously, this is the best possible situation for him and he is clearly head-over-heels happier there than we ever thought he could be). So then work work work for the parental units, play and have fun for the kiddo. Then pick up the boy, ply him with kisses and sing on the way home, then the regular nightly routine of dinner-playtime-books and more books-bathtime, boy-to-sleep. Then study like a maniac for me, until I can't keep my eyes open any more and then try to catch a few moments of pleasure reading before lights out. Wash-rinse-repeat.

Fridays are Sol and Mommy, Saturdays are Sol and Daddy (while I work 1/2 day and then study 1/2 day). Sundays are family days, and we're trying to do some fun stuff, which is not always easy for me as I naturally can think of about a million other things I should be doing. And then Monday the routine starts over.

And every day I think of something to blog, or Jake takes a cute snap of Sol that I should post, and then somehow it's the end of the night and I haven't posted a thing. But the intention is there, so that counts for something, right?

But we're still here. And every day we still realize how lucky we are to have our amazing, incredible, adorable boy in our lives. No matter how crazy life gets, we're just so very lucky to be right where we are, right now.

Travel -- Guesthouse

2010-09-06T20:56:00.000-07:00

At first I thought I'd write about our time in-country sequentially, day-by-day, like so many families do. It seemed simpler and more logical. But the truth is that much of it is now a complete blur, so that, while I can remember specific details, I can no longer be sure if the event happened day 2 or day 10. So change of plans it is, and instead, I'm going to cover significant topics/events each in their own post.

TDS -- Home away from home, at least for us!

Today, it's the guesthouse. We had originally intended to stay in a hotel, mostly because I thought it would mean better amenities and more privacy. However, due to a quirk of communication (which I now think may have been fateful), we ended up at the TDS Guesthouse. And it was one of the biggest highlights of the trip, let me tell you. For one thing, the staff was amazing. Every single one of them, totally great. From the guards who played with the kids to the office staff who helped me navigate the telephone system at the US Embassy, we couldn't be more grateful. And it was lovely to have a delicious home-cooked breakfast every morning. I was so spoiled by that that I was waiting for my eggs to arrive the morning after we came home! :)

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View from our balcony to the front gates

We ended up with two rooms at the guesthouse. Funnily enough, they charge by the number of beds -- so while my room was HUGE, and the aunties' room was about the size of a closet, theirs cost more. No matter, we made use of the shared balcony and the ample living space in my room. Sol loved crawling around on the floor in the room, and in the evenings it was nice to be able to hang out in the common living room. All in all, a great experience for us.

One thing about beds in Ethiopia, though -- HARD. The hardest bed you've ever slept on, seriously. So hard that by the time we came home I had bruises on both hips and on my back, from trying to get comfortable. On the last night someone from another party mentioned that she just put her comforter/duvet under the sheet and slept on that. Don't I wish I'd been that smart!

Mom and Sol watching the older kids play

Our guesthouse was located just off Bole Road, and was very convenient to walk to different places for shopping, small souks (storefronts) and restaurants. This came in quite handy especially after I took custody of Sol, as I didn't want to go out and about a whole lot with him, for various reasons. And again, the staff was so helpful, and anything we needed they could either help with or point us toward. Fantastic! For other WACAP families, you will be very happy here, I promise you. It was a real highlight for us.

Couldn't Say It Better

2010-08-31T13:14:00.000-07:00

You know how, when you're faced with racism, unkindness or just plain stupidity, you want to have the perfect response? Well it seems to me that this blogger has it pretty much right on. (and has excellent taste in blog templates, too).

Hatbox

2010-08-29T21:33:00.000-07:00

Um, I think we're going to need the next size up

Travel -- Day 1 & 2

2010-08-25T21:26:00.000-07:00

It's three months since we've been home, and I'm just now, finally, ready to post about the trip. A good deal of that was because of how overwhelming the whole thing was, emotionally and physically, really a life-altering experience. Part of it was because we lost so many of the significant photos I had wanted to bring home, both for my son and my husband, but also for others. And then a huge part was that I still feel conflicted over the fact that I traveled and Jake didn't -- although we both recognize that it was better that he was home, it was still unbelievably hard for me, every single minute, to be there without him.

But I want to get all of this down now, for Solomon, while aspects of the trip are still clear in my mind and heart. I know that when we were waiting for a referral, for court, for travel, waiting waiting waiting, the stories of other families' travels kept me going. So, here goes.

We left SeaTac airport on Monday, May 10 at 2:05 p.m. Our itinerary took us from Seattle to Frankfurt, Germany, and then from Frankfurt to Addis Ababa, with an arrival time in the evening on May 11. We knew it would be long and exhausting, but I'm not sure any of us realized just how exhausting. Our friends Genevieve and Stacey made the trip with me, and I'm grateful that they did -- while I toyed for a moment with the idea of traveling alone, there was just no way I could have made it without help, and I was so glad to have them along.

Auntie Genevieve read a whole book on the flight!

Packing the car was a bit of a puzzle -- suitcases, carry-ons, purses and of course three precious duffle bags full of donation items for WACAP House and Ajuuja, Solomon's orphanage. We stuffed those bags as full as we could get them, with shoes, diapers, formula, clothes, medical supplies, vitamins and small toys for the kiddos. Each of us checked one bag of donations and one suitcase. You should have seen the looks we got unloading at the curb, then telling the Lufthansa staff we were checking through to Addis Ababa! At check-in I was fortunate to meet a baggage handler who was Ethiopian. He beamed when he heard where we were going -- I asked him what he missed about Addis and he said, with a huge smile "Everything!".

The first flight (10 hours) was unremarkable except for the fact that it was HOT and really, really crowded. Being stuck in the middle seats wasn't pleasant, and I didn't sleep at all (no surprise there). I did watch some movies, read a little, and went over and over many details in my brain. Luckily our flight was on time, even a little early. The Icelandic volcano was sending up ash and we were afraid we might be delayed, but trust Lufthansa to be right on the minute!

In Frankfurt we had a short layover, so freshened up, got a quick snack and waited to board. Our seats were all over the place, so we asked to be reseated and the flight attendant gave us our choice of rows -- the flight was virtually empty. Now that's the way to fly! Both Stacey and Genevieve got some sleep on that flight (7 hours) but I was completely wired with nervous energy. I just kept watching the stats, as our plane inched ever closer to Addis and to Solomon, counting the hours until we touched down at around 6:30 p.m. local time.

Tick-tock, tick-tock. . . .watching the miles click by

Lots of business to do when we arrived -- first visas to get and then money to change, both easier to accomplish than we thought. I changed $500 at the airport and debated about more, but that was plenty to get us through. Then we went through customs, quick and easy, and got a porter at baggage claim. Good thing we did, I personally was waaaaay too worn out to be carrying bags through to the van. Mesfin, WACAP's awesome driver, was waiting for us and I just about burst into tears when I saw him.

After loading up into the van, we made our way to TDS Guesthouse. It was a bit of a misunderstanding -- we were supposed to have a reservation at the hotel but ended up at the guesthouse, and I'm SO glad we were there, both for comfort and for the support of other families. We waited in my room for Ato Teklu, WACAP's in-country director and a completely incredible gentleman (more about him later). He turned up not long after we arrived, telling us that our trip to Ajuuja, which we thought was scheduled for Wednesday, was postponed and that we would get to see Solomon the next day. Amazing!

And with that information, we polished off a couple of bottles of water and crashed into bed, as exhausted as I had ever been up to that point.

More to come!

Wordless Wednesday

2010-08-18T10:46:00.000-07:00

Kid's Day 2010

2010-08-15T20:50:00.000-07:00

We had a wonderful time yesterday at WACAP Kid's Day. Although it was super hot for Seattle (low 90's), we braved the heat and drove down for a picnic and gathering of adoptive and prospective adoptive families. It was so much fun for us to see all the gorgeous kiddos, and especially to meet this adorable family! We've read about their journey all along, oohed and aaahed over every sweet picture, and it was awesome to meet them in person. They are such a great family, and it was really cool to see their beautiful boy and ours together (although Sol's walking skills haven't quite caught up to D's yet!). Hopefully Solo and D can get together for a playdate sometime in the future.

And thankfully our generous and kind friends Andria and Kevin were there to capture some cuteness on camera. Thanks guys, we owe you! I just seem to be unable to juggle camera, toddler, snacks and so on -- and now that Sol's mobile, well, it's even tougher. But they got some great shots and we really appreciate it. And it was terrific to see them and to meet some other families who are still in process too. How well we remember being in their shoes, and how excited we are for them to get "the call"!

After that we headed north and stopped off for a quick visit with the cousins. Sol was in seventh heaven -- cousins, Max the beagle, Boo and Sparky the cats (his first real experience with felines), great snacks, and a gorgeous blanket crocheted with love by Aunt Kathy. Does it get any better than that?? Sol would say no way, and we agree.

What a terrific weekend, and another reminder of how lucky we have been throughout this process -- not only to end up with the sweetest little Habesha boy ever, but also to have such a great community of support and encouragement in our lives. We are truly blessed!

Wordless Wednesday

2010-08-11T20:18:00.000-07:00

Time

2010-08-07T20:23:00.000-07:00

As in, there's never enough, and somehow it just goes by so fast. If you've called or emailed me in the past few weeks, and I never responded, don't worry. It's no reflection on you, and I promise I'll get back to you. It's just that the days seem to fly by, and before I know it it's bathtime-bedtime-storytime, catch-my-breath-time, and I haven't done any of the things I set out to do at the beginning of the day. Or at the beginning of the day before, more likely.

And it's not likely to get any better this week, as Jake starts back to work on Monday. To say I'm apprehensive about that is putting it mildly -- call it hyperventilatingly stressed out, wondering how we're going to manage two full-time jobs and one way-more-than-full-time toddler. Not to mention grad school for me, which starts in less than a month (and then there's the lovely complication that I have to take two classes this semester, rather than one as I'd planned). Oh yes, stressed doesn't begin to cover it.

But as my patient and downright wonderful husband points out to me nearly every day, we'll manage. Somehow, we always have -- when I was going to school full-time and had a two-hour daily commute, when he was working nights and I was working days and we were driving in opposite directions, when I was simultaneously applying for grad school and completing adoption paperwork. We have gotten through all of those tough times, and we'll get through this time too.

And so I am ever so slowly trying to turn over a different leaf, focusing on the positive (which, if you know me, is not my forte. But whatever, I'm trying anyway). We have great jobs, health care, money enough to pay our bills. We have a roof over our head and plenty to eat. We have a sassy little puppy dog who always makes us laugh. And of course we have a beautiful, energetic and healthy boy who lights up our lives every single moment, and for whom both of us would take on any challenge that comes our way.

Easy? Nope. Worth it? We think so.

(And now to return a few of those emails. . . . . . . )

First Haircut

2010-07-27T12:24:00.000-07:00

Jake took Solomon in today for his first haircut. Apparently there were many tears shed when the lady tried to put him in a booster seat, but once Daddy got in the chair and put Sol on his lap, life was good. Jake said he didn't seem to mind it much but wasn't really thrilled either. And naturally Daddy had to get his hair cut too, to prove to the little man that it was an experience he would live through.

My two handsome devils

"Dat?"

2010-07-22T20:26:00.000-07:00

Lately a trip in the car with Solomon, or a meal around the dinner table, or even an evening playing in the backyard features a particular thread of conversation. It goes a little something like this:

Sol: "Dat?" (pointing)

Me: "Tree"

Two second pause --

Sol: "Dat?" (pointing to something else)

Jake: "House"

Two second pause --

Sol: "Dat?"

Me: "Ball"

Two second pause --

Sol: "Dat?"

Jake: "Bird. I think, or are you pointing at the fence?"

You get the drift. Basically small son's language acquisition is in overdrive. Though he hasn't incorporated a whole lot of this into his spoken repertoire, he does now say duck, na-na (banana), and goggie (dog). And, of course, approximately 80 million times a day, "dat?".

Amazingly enough, he's been home two months today. We're taking it as a great sign that he's working so hard to understand this (to him) strange new world he lives in, to identify and label everything around him. It feels like he's made the decision to embrace his new life, and this is one major step towards that end.

So, we don't mind at all answering "dat?". . . . as many times as Solomon can ask it.

Boy Meets Cookie

2010-07-19T20:35:00.000-07:00

Or "Why We Never Have a Clean Washcloth"

Before:

During

(notice in the above photo that his hand is but a blur. . . . )

After

I'm thinking we've found the new poster boy for Trader Joe's Joe-Joe cookies. Don'tcha think??

First Steps!

2010-07-16T20:38:00.000-07:00

He did it! Earlier this evening, Solomon officially took his mobility to the next level. Two steps to Mommy before falling on his patootie!! (Thank goodness those diapers provide plenty of cushion!). And then, a few minutes later, two more steps, just in case we missed it the first time, grinning all the while.Yahoooooo!

I wish I had a cute picture or some video to go along with it -- but as is inevitably the case, the cameras were nowhere to be found at the crucial moment. But it doesn't matter to us, because we both were there to see it, and we couldn't be more proud of our little guy.

Maxie remains nonplussed -- probably because she has figured out that once he learns to walk, she'll never have a moment's peace. Poor thing! :)

Happiness Is. . .

2010-07-13T20:16:00.000-07:00

Hanging with your cousins at the zoo on a sunny Sunday

Playing with the bigger kids

And then watching your new Thomas DVD before bathtime

Thanks Uncle Don, Aunt Kathy, and cousins Cody and Cory for a terrific Sunday. Sol had a wonderful time, start to finish!

In other news -- we had a somewhat better night sleepwise last night, and he had a fantastic day at daycare today, according to his teacher. And you'd better believe we're clinging to and celebrating each positive moment!

Balance

2010-07-12T20:59:00.000-07:00

Knowing how much openness to display on this blog has been a tough thing all along, but it's tougher now that Solo is home. He's going to read all of this one day -- at least, that's our hope -- and so we've tried to keep that in mind and not focus too much on the struggles we've had. But sometimes the struggles feel overwelming, for all of us.

Such is the week we've had, as Solomon started daycare last Monday.

We're trying to ease him into it, to read his cues and do what we think is right. And mostly he's been doing great while he's there, slowly making inroads with the other kids, playing outside and enjoying his food, as always. But we've also noticed some anxiety rearing its ugly head, in the form of sleep disruption and general reluctance to let one or the other of us out of his sight.

It's tough for us to see this beautiful boy wrestle with knowing that we're here for him always. We're doing all we can to reassure him, to keep routines the same, to explain to him what's going to happen and to pull back when it feels like he needs some quiet time at home. But he's still hurting sometimes, and that is painful for all of us. I can't imagine what it's like to lose everything and everyone you know, and then try to reach out and trust that the new people in your life won't be lost to you as well.

We know we'll get there, to a place where he fully knows that we're his mom and dad and we will always come back for him. But in the meantime, we work, all of us, to find our balance.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-07-07T20:31:00.001-07:00

Wordless Wednesday

2010-06-30T20:21:00.000-07:00

Life with Sol

2010-06-29T20:37:00.000-07:00

It's pretty sweet, really.

Not that adjusting to parenting hasn't required patience, flexibility, patience, stamina, foresight, patience, and above all a sense of humor (and did I mention patience?). But this little boy is a constant joy to us, and every moment with him brings amazing new changes.

Right now, he's very into exploring his environment. Most days he's on the move, crawling up and down our hallway, hands and feet slapping along as he throws himself full tilt into the world. He also uses his roll-along walker, although that has a tendency to veer quickly into an unexpected corner, which often throws him for a loop. Wherever we are, he is, or will be very soon. Privacy? Yeah, not so much.

Food continues to be a constant delight, although he's over being fed like a baby and vastly prefers to do it himself, thank you very much. Meals for us are now planned around what can be diced into toddler-friendly pieces, or shoved into his mouth by the handful. Current Solomon favorites: apple-blueberry sauce, waffles, eggs, rice, graham crackers and bananas. Peas are now in the rotation, we're happy to say, as are tomatoes (only if cooked). Peaches continue to elude us.

His twin obsessions are Maxie and Thomas the Tank Engine. Thank God for a patient puppy dog and Netflix streaming on demand. My, how our viewing habits have changed -- we've had the same Netflix discs for three weeks now, but have watched "Thomas and Friends: Carnival Capers" almost every day. Who knew!

He LOVES to be on the go. I'm sometimes surprised during the workday by a call from Daddy and Solomon, who have dropped by to bring me a soda or just say hi. Today he was sporting his new sunglasses -- although he has some dead cute Batman shades, he refuses to leave them on, so we've resorted to the kind with the velcro band around the head -- and his shoes. The fact that he was wearing both when I saw him is a triumph of will on Jake's part, let me assure you.

Watching this little man embrace his life with us, has already taught me many things, not only about parenting but about life in general. Solomon could certainly have withdrawn into himself when faced with an entirely new environment, new people, new sights, new sounds. He could have shut down, closed off, pulled back. We would have understood that -- in fact, we expected it.

But, he didn't. Instead, he has thrown himself body and soul into a completely new world, finding joy in the changes and approaching the unfamiliar with curiosity, not terror. That's awe-inspiring to me, a reticent homebody who wants to be surrounded by what she knows, and must have a plan at all costs. Seeing my thirteen-month-old son balance on the cusp of his new life and be thrilled by everything around him -- it's given me a new perspective on my own life, and how I weather change. It makes me think, constantly.

Thanks, small son.

Bubbles

2010-06-27T21:50:00.000-07:00

Jake and Sol brought some bubbles home on Friday and played for a while with our little neighbor boy. Luckily they were still in the mood for some bubble time when Mom got home. What a great way to end my first official work week! :)

Wordless Wednesday

2010-06-23T10:16:00.000-07:00

"Don't bother me, I'm thinking"

The good life

Transitions

2010-06-18T20:48:00.000-07:00

Today was my last official day of family leave. I'm sad to see it go. Even though I LOVE my job (with a capital L), this has been an amazing time in our lives as a family. We've really had a chance to grow together and figure out new things about each other every single day -- even Jake and I, who have been married six years! Parenting will do that to you, I guess. For example, I'm learning about his incredible capacity for distraction. Just when Solomon is starting to melt down, Jake pulls out some unexpected song or does a funny voice, and more often than not, disaster is averted (or at least postponed).

The good news is that we have a daycare for Solomon, and he will start there next month. It's a great facility, one that we feel will offer both challenges and individual attention. They have a fantastic program for kids Solomon's age and the location is good. Of course, it's not cheap, but then nothing involving raising kids ever is! Still, we feel pretty good about his chances for success there. He'll start very part-time and Jake will even go with him for the first few days. Our intention is to gradually ease him in so that he's there full-time once Jake has to be back at work in early August.

I can easily say that the past six weeks for me have been some of the most challenging of my life. Traveling to Ethiopia, meeting our son and bringing him home, learning to parent a child in transition -- this has been, honestly, the toughest thing I've ever done. Overall, I think we're doing great. Nothing is perfect, and there are still lots of rough spots as we get to know one another. Some days it is very apparent that Solomon is experiencing a great deal of loss in his life, and this can be hard for us to navigate. But we love this little boy with all of our hearts, and we're doing the best we can for each other, every one of us.

It's going to be weird for me to walk out the door on Monday morning without Solomon, and weird for Jake to be home alone with him. Yet another change ahead for the Kinsers -- let's hope this one is also mostly smooth!

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday

2010-06-16T11:12:00.000-07:00

Bib caption: "Cute but messy. . . just like Daddy"

Progress Report

2010-06-13T11:21:00.000-07:00

We've been home three weeks now, and so much has changed already. For one thing, Sol turned 13 months old yesterday. He's developing new skills and habits every day -- just a few:

-- Says "dada" pretty clearly and uses it specifically for Jake. He's getting a few "mama"s in too, as well as "mmm" when he likes a certain food, and something slightly resembling "thank you" (it's a stretch, but we'll take it)

-- Crawls like a madman, pulls himself up everywhere and cruises the furniture. This morning he stood up without support for about 1.5 seconds before falling on his bum. Look out world, he'll be walking soon!

-- Waves and says "hi" with a smile. This is mostly done to himself in the mirror but he also waved at some of my coworkers when we stopped by for a visit this week, and to Auntie Stacey yesterday.

-- Rolls the ball for Maxie, and even gets it out from under the furniture for her too. They're still getting along really well, and he's learned to be much more gentle with petting her.

-- Tries to buckle his car seat for me, and sometimes his booster. It's pretty cute. :)

-- Loves his board books. He likes to move them around the room and insists that you read his favorites (right now, Goodnight Moon, The Foot Book and Olivia) over and over and over and over. . . not that we mind!

-- Sleeps in his crib!! Naps and bedtime. He's pretty good about it too, although he wakes Jake up once or twice during the night, either for a bottle or just for some repositioning, as he tends to wedge himself up against the head or foot of the crib. This guy is a seriously restless sleeper.

-- Eats like a champ. Really, everything you put in front of him. Recently he's tried -- and liked -- blueberries, waffles, hamburger, tuna fish, pickles (ugh), naan bread, watermelon, mushrooms, tortillas, hummus, and cucumber (when dipped in hummus). The only things out-and-out rejected so far are peaches, tomatoes and peas. . . but we'll keep trying.

-- And speaking of eating, he's a total pro at feeding himself finger foods. In fact, he'd rather feed himself any day than have us feed him. We're starting to let him self-feed with a spoon (pictures of that to come), but so far it has been interesting to say the least. Oh well, at least Maxie loves it!

Naturally we've been snapping pictures like crazy first-time parents -- so without further ado, a few shots of the man himself!

The nightly bedtime routine -- Sol is out for the count

Test-driving the stroller with Dad -- at first he wasn't too thrilled but now he loves it!

Obligatory baby-in-the-bath photo

Rockin' the panda

His "it wasn't me, honest" look. . .

Letting Dad feed him yogurt -- although we all know he'd rather do it himself

Half Half?

2010-06-10T12:08:00.000-07:00

Actual conversation Jake had with a baby store clerk the other day, while I was exchanging some clothes for Solomon (yes, we need bigger sizes):

Incredibly Naive Salesperson, gazing at Solomon in his stroller (content for once to hang out when stroller was not moving): Wow, what a cute baby that is!

Jake: Thank you. We think so.

INS: So is he half-half?

Jake: ????

INS: Half-half. You know, half white and half black?

Jake: (More ???) No, he's Ethiopian.

INS: Oh, wow. So where are his parents?

Jake: Right here. Myself and my wife (pointing to me, oblivious at the sales counter)

INS: (Blink, blink.) Um, no, I meant his REAL parents.

Jake: Oh, you mean his birth parents? He's adopted from Ethiopia.

INS: Oh, wow. (More blinking.) So then what does he speak?

Jake: Speak??

INS: Yeah, you know, like what language and all of that.

Jake: He's 13 months old. He just babbles.

INS: Oh yeah, but does he speak English though?

Jake: He doesn't speak anything. He's a baby.

INS: Oh, okay. But when he starts to speak, what language will it be?

Jake: English. We speak English, so he will too, but we hope to pass on some words from his original language, Sidaminga.

INS: (Blink. Blink. Blink.) Oh, okay. But he's cute, anyway.

At this point I was done and walked up just in time to see Jake shaking his head and rolling Solomon toward the door. As he put it, ignorance may be bliss, but sometimes it's just painful for the rest of us.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-06-09T20:18:00.000-07:00

Belated first birthday party with family this past Sunday. . . clearly this boy enjoys his cake!

Souvenirs

2010-06-07T21:05:00.000-07:00

We've been home two weeks now, and I'm just now beginning to process our trip and what happened in country. It seems like something that would have come sooner, but to be honest we were pretty much in survival mode the past two weeks. Don't get me wrong, we've been enjoying being home and being a family, but learning to be parents of an active, inquisitive and energetic one-year-old (who just happens to be on heavy-duty antibiotics for a double ear infection) has been about all we can handle. So a lot of the mental analysis of what happened in country has gone on the back burner, and is just now starting to surface.

One of the more amazing parts of the trip was meeting Solomon's family. The visit was emotional and so life-altering -- but I tried to hold my emotions in check and just focus on what questions Solomon might want answered later in his life. The entire time I spoke with them I was trying hard to drink in every detail of what was said, to concentrate as much as possible on the exact words and sentiments they used so I could relate that portion of things to Solomon later. I didn't focus too much on the visual side of things, on memorizing their faces and the other details of where they lived, relying on photos to do that part of the storytelling for me.

It turns out, that was probably a pretty big mistake. As I mentioned before, we had a bit of a technology meltdown in regards to the documentation of that visit, and unfortunately may not be able to salvage any photos of Solomon's birth family. This has been a really hard thing for me to process, and I'm still blaming myself for how things turned out. Honestly I don't know if it's something I'll ever quite get past or reconcile myself to, even though there's not much I can do about it at this point. And I don't know just how I'm going to explain that part of things to my son when he's older.

But, although the photos may be lost and the video didn't come out, we did come home with two extremely precious souvenirs for Sol. In visiting his family and seeing their home, I learned that they are craftspeople who make and sell beautiful clay coffee pots. (In fact, the orphanage director told us a great anecdote about Solomon playing in the clay the family uses to make the pots -- I can just picture our boy covered in red clay from head to toe.) Solomon's uncle showed me some of their work in process, and then as we were leaving he came running out to the car with an amazing gift for Solomon -- two coffee pots, hand-made and fired, for us to give Solomon as a remembrance of his birth family.

I think you can probably guess that it was at that point that my emotions completely overflowed. Yep, completely lost it. Cried like there was no tomorrow -- for everything that Solomon was leaving behind, for the sacrifice that these incredibly loving people were making and for the hope that we can as parents somehow do right by this boy.

Photos we may not have. Video we may have lost for good. And those are things that I will mourn for a long time. But we came away with at least two tangible representations of his birth family that Solomon will be able to keep for the rest of his life, and know that they gave out of love for him. He can touch those coffee pots and feel, somehow, that he is touching his past and his life before we knew him. And we can touch them and feel that we are touching those who gave us the most precious gift we could ever imagine receiving.

Sometimes the best souvenirs are those you never anticipated.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-06-02T11:49:00.000-07:00

At TDS Guesthouse, just hours after being dropped off for the first day in our custody

Later that day -- a pensive moment on Auntie Stacey's lap

Solomon FAQ

2010-05-30T20:13:00.000-07:00

Thanks everyone for the many wonderful emails and comments on our airport photos. I confess that I wouldn't have been able to put that together were it not for my sister and her boys, who not only turned up at the airport to support us and document this momentous occasion, but also dashed the photos off onto disc super quick for us. Considering that we had a major technology mishap on the trip and are still working on reclaiming some of those photos, it was a real boost to have the airport greetings done so early. Thanks guys!

And now a word or two about our first week home. It's all gone surprisingly well, considering that Solomon has a bacterial infection in his ear and a blistering rash on his face -- poor kiddo hardly made a peep and we didn't know anything was wrong until a couple days after we got home, when he started pulling at his ear. So now we're three days into a ten-day course of antibiotics, with all the lovely side effects that go along with that. Welcome to parenthood! :)

Some other FAQ:
1. Is he sleeping through the night?
Yep, so far so good. He wakes Jake up once during the night for a bottle (we think they were putting him to sleep with one at the orphanage, he won't go down for bed or a nap without it) but otherwise is usually down from 8 p.m. to around 7 a.m. Yay!

2. How's his appetite?
HUGE! Seriously, this boy could eat us out of house and home before he becomes a teenager. Loves carrots, potatoes, applesauce, rice cereal, pasta, chicken, cheese, yogurt, and any kind of carbohydrate at all. And thankfully he loves sitting in his booster seat, so Mommy can eat dinner too!

3. Any car seat phobia?
Nope. In fact, he grins when I strap him in. Loves the Ergo too.

4. Bottle or sippy cup?
Both right now. We're continuing with formula until after we can meet with the doctor for an evaluation at the beginning of June.

5. How are he and Maxie getting along?
Pretty good, all things considered. He loves her, she's a little wary of him since his attempts to pet her sometimes end in pinching or pulling her fur. But she's very protective and runs to his side whenever he starts to cry or fuss.

6. Is he bonding with Daddy?
No big surprise here, he loves Dad. And Jake is WONDERFUL with him, also no surprise. In fact, Daddy got him to take his first nap in the crib today -- a big step forward as we'd like to get him sleeping on his own when we can, so everyone gets better sleep.

7. When can we meet Solomon?
Soon, we hope. We're taking it somewhat slow with meeting new people. For the most part he has done well when we have him out and about, but some things really overwhelm him -- lots of noise, flashing lights, anything hanging from the ceiling (helium balloons in the grocery store checkout line sent him into complete freak out mode). If you haven't met him yet, don't worry, you will -- but we just want to do it all on his timetable.

One week in and we're loving this little boy to pieces. He is so sweet and lovable, and has us just completely cracking up all the time. It's not always easy, and sometimes we feel entirely overwelmed. But it's always worth it when he looks up at us and flashes that gorgeous smile.

Welcome Home Solomon!

2010-05-28T21:55:00.001-07:00

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Wordless Wednesday

2010-05-26T20:25:00.000-07:00

Why Daddy is Our Hero

2010-05-25T17:44:00.000-07:00

We're home! And it's all thanks to Jake, whose tireless efforts over the last week made all the difference in getting us cleared through the US Embassy. It was a frightening and stressful ordeal for all of us, especially since I had absolutely no control over what was going on or how things would be resolved. But I breathed a big sigh of relief once we were through Customs at SeaTac and on our way to baggage claim to meet Daddy!

Solomon is a fantastic little boy and has adjusted very well to the major changes in his life. He's bonded well with me and is getting there with Jake too (in fact, they're having yogurt together now -- the way to this boy's heart is definitely through his stomach, no question!) We're all pretty tired but we're starting to catch up on sleep and gradually get a bit of a schedule under way.

The trip was intense, amazing, fascinating and life-changing. I'm still trying to process most of what we encountered while in country, but I can easily say that Ethiopia is a beautiful country filled with incredible people, and I feel honored to be forever connected to this tremendous culture through the adoption of our son. My perspective on life will never, honestly never, be the same again.

Pictures coming later, I promise -- we had a few technical difficulties in this regard, but I'll get some posted as soon as I can. For now, let me say that there's nothing better than the clutter, intensity and energy of having a small boy in our lives. We're thrilled to be home and together at last!

The Return

2010-05-21T22:10:00.000-07:00

I sit here next to she who will not be trained and I can't help but reflect on what has taken place for the last few days. At last post everything had been going uncharacteristically smoothly. Mary had traveled to the orphanage, met with the family, got some history. .All was good.

Alas that ended on the day Mary was to go for her embassy appointment (also the reason that I haven't posted). 2 hours before her appointment she was informed that the embassy had not received her 37 visa paperwork from WACAP, and that she would not be granted a visa for Solomon. This took place (as such things always do) really late at night when all government agencies are closed. I scrambled contacting our agency, telling them what I knew and working in conjunction with WACAP, and our congressman's office. We hurried and got it cabled to Ethiopia so that they could have it for the next day. So the next day she went in to meet with the embassy guy, and he claimed that they had no proof of my fingerprints being completed. Again I received a call and all the agencies are closed. It was looking like Mary was not going to have a visa, and therefore not going to make her flight. Compounding the stress the aunties that went with her both had to be back on Monday to work and would have to leave Mary alone until the visa matter was settled. I worked day and night dealing with agencies I had never heard of working in conjunction with a congressional aid, and our agency contact. I felt like we were being played by this embassy agent and without getting others involved we would not be waiting for Sol and Mary to arrive tomorrow. I now know just how much I would sacrifice to get my son home and safe, because I have done it. I have played nice with petulant embassy workers, calmed my wife when she was worried that she was stranded, and I pushed my will onto those I needed help from. Now i am preparing to meet my son.

I don't want you to think that everything was bad for those days. I met some really nice people, and had a good talk with Solly over the phone. Granted he only says "eh" like a squeaky toy but it brought tears to my eyes. Also for those of you who are wanting to know (and you know who you are) her flight is on schedule and as far as I can tell not going to be affected by Iceland (such big problems from such a tiny island). Now I must go make up a bag of goodies for my weary travelers (plus put clean sheets on the bed for Mary....her only request). Hopefully next post, pictures. (and Mary's narrative of the trip)

Embedded

2010-05-15T20:53:00.000-07:00

OK I have been remiss in my posts but it has been a crazy couple of days (both for Mary and Myself...where to begin). I was out kind of late on Thursday because my wonderful coworkers threw me a (manly) baby shower (which I have taken to calling a hurricane). It was a lot of fun, and we got a ton of great things for Solomon. I work with some very generous and warm people who are excited to meet and lavish attention on my little boy (and don't think I won't remember all of you who said that you would baby sit, it is all on my list).

Friday was my 35th birthday and I was again caked up by my coworkers and I hit a major sugar high. Then Maxie and I hit a drive thru and gorged on man food. Also my FMLA starts at 4:30, 12 weeks to bond with Solly.

Now to the real meat of the post. Since my last post Mary has traveled to Awassa and met with Solomons nannies, taken massive amounts of pictures (which we will post when she gets back). She says it is really nice and clean and the children there are really loved by their care givers. So much so that Solomon's nanny snagged Marys camera and kissed the screen when Sol's picture was on it. She also traveled out of Awassa to the village where Solomon's uncle was suppose to meet them. She was surprised to also meet his Grandmother and Grandfather who lived in the village. Many more pictures were taken as well as some video that I will compile for Sol when he is older. The bio family was great they answered many questions and volunteered some answers to questions we didn't even know. They are pottery makers and when Mary was ready to leave the uncle gave Mary 2 coffee pots that he made ( I choke up a bit just thinking about that).

Mary called today and is now back in Addis. She will be getting Solomon on Sunday night and will be hanging around the guest house until embassy appointment. She has done some shopping for things to give Solomon so we can keep him in touch with his roots.

Today Uncle Robert came over to help me with the curtains and hanging some pictures. Then we had some Vietnamese food and took in a movie. As I said bit crazy but good. Now if only my wife and little boy were home I would be a happy guy.

More to come.

2010-05-12T22:03:00.000-07:00

It has been three days since my wonderful wife has hopped an airplane to go get our boy, Solomon. I have been a mega clean-a-thon after work. It is the way that I have been able to manage my nerves. I have two more work days until my FMLA leave starts, and I can devote my time to get the house ready for Sol.

Just a few updates for everyone who has been following this crazy trip. Mary called me last night to let me know that the trip to the orphanage had been pushed back to Friday. There were aparently some other families that had some trouble getting there (stupid Volcanos). However she was told by Teklu that she would be getting to see Solly today, which was great because his birthday. She called me earlier this afternoon and told me she got to spend the afternoon with him. He was very calm and curious. She got feed and play with him, and even held him while he napped. She was so happy that you could hear her grin through the phone. It is truly amazing to be this close to bringing him home. I am very excited to see my son. More news later.

Leaving on a Jet Plane

2010-05-10T21:58:00.000-07:00

Just a quick post tonight. I wanted to let everyone know that our intrepid travelers are on their way to Addis to pick up Solomon. It was a bit of a squeeze getting the donation bags and the luggage in my little Honda Element, kind of like a game of Tetris. Mary should be over Greenland even as I type. I will get a call tonight from Mary when she gets to Frankfurt where she will be switching planes. Thanks for all the good thoughts and I will post more this week.

TTFN!

2010-05-10T07:15:00.000-07:00

When I was a little kid, instead of saying goodbye, my sister Kathy and I would say to each other "TTFN! Ta-ta for now!" (It's from the Disney character Tigger -- I also delighted in how he spelled his name -- "T-I-double Guh - RRR").

This time tomorrow we'll be just about to touch down in Addis. It's strange because I thought I'd be a bundle of nerves at this point, but I'm feeling incredibly calm. My main occupation in life is worrying (and list-making), so you'd think I'd be taking this opportunity for some grade-A fretting, but instead, I just feel totally at peace. I'm going to Africa, I'm going to meet our son, and I'm going to bring him home to my husband so our family is complete. And it will not be without some difficulties, but in the end, it will all work out. I'm sure of it.

The next couple of weeks are going to be hard -- but as hard as they will be for me, and for Jake, they'll be even harder for Solomon. Maybe this is part of becoming a parent, letting go of the worry on my own behalf and focusing instead on what my son's going to be thinking and feeling, when we board that plane for home.

So rather than saying goodbye, this morning I'll just say TTFN, ta-ta for now! See you in two weeks!!

Showered

2010-05-08T08:48:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my last day at work for six weeks. This is kind of weird for me, for a couple of reasons. First, I've never taken that long off work before. Second, I really, really, REALLY love my job -- not only what I do, but the wonderful people I work with.

We've been fortunate over the years to have met some fantastic people at our respective jobs, many of whom have become our good friends. Last year, when I went to work in Acquisitions for our county library system, I was pretty anxious about how the news of our adoption was going to go over. I needn't have worried -- my coworkers and supervisors have been 100% behind this adoption from day one! Not only that, they have been there with encouragement, support and enthusiasm, just when I needed it most.

On Thursday my department threw us an amazing shower for Solomon. It was completely perfect -- from the dessert buffet (how well do these folks know me??), to the slide show of Sol's photos, to the laughter and camaraderie (and NO shower games, thank goodness!). And then there were the gifts, a total bounty of necessary and wonderful stuff for Solomon, and for his mama and daddy too!

Gifts galore!

A frog for our prince

Books for our boy! We LOVE them!!!

Sounds of the Serengeti - in the cutest giraffe ever!

Adorable cross-stitch for Solomon's wall (one of several awesome handmade gifts)

Maxie checking out the stack of gifts

Toys, toys, toys (and one fantastic lion!)

Essentials -- so much appreciated

Words can't describe this -- a beautiful handmade quilt with African fabrics

Cute clothes, sweet shoes

In addition to all of this, these amazing people donated diapers, medical supplies, toothbrushes, and nearly $400 in cash for supplies for Solomon's orphanage. We can't begin to express our gratitude or explain how lucky we are to have these folks in our lives. It does take a village, unquestionably, and in that regard, we're more than blessed.

Counting Down

2010-05-05T21:29:00.000-07:00

Time -- which for months has seemed to stand still -- is now flying by.

We leave in four days.

Somehow bags are getting packed. Somehow lists are dwindling. Somehow (more) documents are being signed, donations are coming together, and plans for the next two weeks are being solidified. Somehow -- and to be honest, we couldn't always tell you exactly how.

And next week, Solomon turns one.

We're counting down.

10 Days!!

2010-04-30T18:22:00.000-07:00

We leave in 10 DAYS!!!!

Shocking but true. Jake and I counted it up last night and could hardly believe it. He has 10 work days left until he starts FMLA and I have 5 days to go, and so much to do before then, it's crazy. When we started this journey it all seemed so far away, and now I keep having to tell myself that we'll be on the plane and headed toward Solomon before we know it!

The other great news of the week is that our friends Andria and Kevin are now officially on the wait list. Way to go guys, I think you completed that dossier in record time! Can't wait until you too get the call -- another playmate for Solomon, yippeeeeee! :)

Whose House is This???

2010-04-27T21:05:00.000-07:00

These days a lot of weird things are showing up around our house. Like this stuff:

And these:

And all this:

And, thanks to Jake's hard work this past weekend, this too:

Somehow all the rest just eased into my consciousness with not much fanfare. But this last one, this splendid Swedish design hand-crafted by my husband (with an allen wrench, no less) -- this piece cannot be ignored. The presence of a crib in our home can only mean one thing: this time next month, unbelievably, no matter what else, Solomon will be home.

Whoa.

Honestly, I'm Kind of a Mess

2010-04-24T23:05:00.000-07:00

Apologies for the blog silence, and thanks to my sweet husband for keeping the thread going this week. To be quite honest I've just been overwhelmed with all there is to think about, to do, to plan and prepare for. After being on this journey for so long, we've at last reached the stage where we can launch full-tilt into preparing for our son. And I scarcely know where to start, except that I'm traveling in a little over two weeks, ready or not!

In the meantime, my friends and coworkers have been extremely kind and patient with me, as I stop a conversation mid-stream to write down a few more things I need to check on, or inadvertently fail to acknowledge them when I'm walking through the hallways, lost in thought. Apologies for that, too -- it's simply that my mind is racing all the time with packing lists, donation items, finances, itineraries, appointments. By the end of the night I'm exhausted, but the second I turn out the light my brain kicks into overdrive once again. Too crazy, I tell you.

The past couple of weeks have been unexpectedly emotional as well. We're filled with joy and eagerly anticipating meeting our son and having him home. But the truth of the matter is that while we are excitedly preparing for him, he is experiencing yet another loss. Last week Solomon was moved from Ajuuja orphanage to WACAP House in Addis, awaiting our arrival. He had to leave behind his nannies, his playmates, his familiar surroundings.

And while we know that he's one step closer to us, all he knows is that everything has changed, and he doesn't know why.

He's very likely scared, upset, bewildered. I think we're feeling that, too, for him. We're thrilled to be his parents, but we're also sad for him that he will be leaving so much behind. His heritage, his family, his language, the sights and sounds and smells of Ethiopia. The country of his birth.

While ordinarily I'd be preparing for a trip by scouring guidebooks for recommendations, planning excursions and sights not to be missed, this time around it's a bit different.

This time, as I'm preparing to meet Solomon's physical needs, I'm also preparing to meet his emotional ones.

I'm preparing myself to open up to Ethiopia and drink in as much of her people, her culture and her essence as I possibly can. So that when I come home, I can bring some of Ethiopia with me. For my family. For our son. Because it's all I can do.

I Hate Volcanos

2010-04-20T18:48:00.000-07:00

Right about now I (Jake) am very jealous of birth parents. I mean after all birth parents do not have to fight massive amounts of bureaucracy, have their life placed under a microscope, and worry about getting a travel visa to take their baby from one country to another. They also don't have to worry about packing too few diapers, and dread about placing their luggage on the airport scale. They also do not have to worry about getting tropical diseases, or parasites from what they are eating. Finally for the most part they also do not have to worry about volcanos erupting and making it impossible to fly to their baby (also making it impossible to obtain travel insurance to cover the flight if said volcano disrupts the flight). Yep, I am jealous of birth parents.....but when I look into Solomon's eyes and watch his video, I think it is all worth it.

Now I think it is my turn to freak out.

Tickets Booked!

2010-04-15T21:00:00.000-07:00

Another step forward today -- we bought our tickets for the trip! We settled on Lufthansa, and were able to get a great rate and itinerary through Susan Parr Travel. Originally I had thought we would fly Emirates Air, but unfortunately they don't fly out of SeaTac, and I wasn't keen on adding another flight from Seattle to San Francisco. Lufthansa was the next best bet, and several folks we know mentioned having good experiences with them, so we took the plunge.

We have requested a bassinet for the flights home with Solomon, and hopefully we'll get it. I'm still more than a little nervous about those flights home, not even kidding around about that. But I am so so fortunate to have Sol's "aunties", our dear friends Genevieve and Stacey, traveling with me, and they have already promised to help keep the little man entertained. Let's hope he's a good traveler like his daddy is! :)

We'll be flying out 5/10 for arrival in Addis 5/11. I can scarcely believe that this is all finally coming true -- so many months of waiting, so few weeks until Solomon is in our arms!!!

Smitten for Solomon

2010-04-12T20:13:00.000-07:00

Thanks everyone for all the well wishes, kind thoughts, calls, emails, cards and general expressions of happiness! We are thrilled, thrilled, thrilled -- can't say it enough! In some respects we never thought we'd get this far, and now that we have, neither of us can wipe the big stupid grins off our faces.

Solomon turns 11 months old today. In just four short weeks, I will be on my way to Addis with a couple of Sol's "aunties", and we will see the man himself either on or shortly after his first birthday. (How cool is that, by the way??). We cannot wait to meet him and see him in action. Step #1 will be trying to get him to smile -- we have more than a dozen pictures of our boy and not one with a smile on his face. But I feel pretty confident that once he gets home and meets his daddy (and his puppy dog), the smiles will be NONSTOP. :)

When we first got our referral, Jake was showing off Solomon's picture at work and one of his coworkers declared she was "smitten for Solomon". Love it! Anyone else want to join the club? If you need more convincing, here's a few more pictures of the star of the show!!

Those eyes, those eyes!

Maximum cuteness per square inch

Update photo: our little man

Kinser, Party of Three

2010-04-08T20:41:00.000-07:00

After nearly two years, hundreds of pages of documentation, 27 billion emails, 16 trips to notaries, a full roll of stamps (and then some), 5 parenting classes and WACAP Weekend, hours of research and discussion and contemplation and fretting (not to mention doubt and downright panic), waaaaay too much chocolate and not nearly enough sleep, AND 114 previous posts to this very blog, as of today, it's official.

It is our privilege and pleasure to introduce to you: Solomon Hatiya. OUR SON.

Next stop, Ethiopia. In only five weeks. (Yeeeeeeeep!)

'Twas the Night Before Court Date

2010-04-07T20:17:00.000-07:00

. . . and all through the house, everybody was anxious (and a little dry-mouthed).

The dachshund was perched with her blanket, looking scared.

"Do we know what we're doing? Are we prepared?"

The "mom" was nestled up in the recliner, with her trusty blue laptop perched right there beside her.

The "dad" had sought refuge with his giant TV, enjoying "Heroes", not "The Wiggles" or that lame show "Barney".

Having tried on our Ergo, clipping each buckle and strap,

we were surprised to discover it was somewhat of a snap --

So now we're as ready as we'll ever be, and all we can do is just wait, hope and see --

If there's no news tomorrow, we'll try not to pout, and just hold on steady for our little man Sprout.

Really Real Reality

2010-04-03T09:38:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I met with my supervisor to coordinate plans for my workload during my absence. I am so fortunate that everyone at work has been over-the-moon excited about Sprout, and that they are all very supportive of me taking time off. But even though we've been talking about this for quite a while, it wasn't until I sent off an email to my coworkers listing my tentative leave dates that it hit me.

This is really real. This is really, finally, absolutely happening. (Assuming we pass court on Thursday, of course, and please cross your fingers and toes that we will.)

Wow. Wow oh wow oh wow.

You know when you work toward something for a long time, how you lose sight of it? Like the process becomes more all-encompassing than the goal, and suddenly you can't quite remember why you're doing what you're doing? That's kind of how we've felt of late. Even though we have pictures of Sprout's sweet face to look at, even though we have video and statistics and we know where he is and what he's been through, it's still been a bit surreal.

Seeing those dates in black and white on my computer screen -- that made it completely real. Sweaty-palm nervous stomach real.

Next month, we could be holding our son.

Holy cow.

List Overload!

2010-03-30T20:37:00.000-07:00

Wow, so much to think about, so much to do! I've spent the past few days compiling lists of things to do: before travel, for Sprout, for life in general. I've gotten some awesome packing list samples from other families who have been there (thanks Amber for the huge collection of lists -- you're amazing!!). It's especially great to hear from families who've been in country recently, and can give advice on what the conditions are now, considering if all goes well on 4/8, we could be traveling in six weeks!

Once again I am amazed at the generosity, helpfulness, kindness and grace of others. Being complete beginners at this parenting thing, not to mention the traveling to Africa thing,I kind of feel out of my depth. But every time I think of some crazy question, there's someone wiser and more experienced right there with the answer. Right. There. You can't imagine how helpful you have all been, and how many panic-attacks-in-the-making have been averted already (more to come, I'm sure).

Keep the advice -- and the lists -- coming. We appreciate every single one!!

More Good News!

2010-03-25T20:27:00.000-07:00

This is a banner week for good news. As part of the recent Health Care Reform legislation, the adoption tax credit was just renewed. This means that we will be able to take the tax credit for up to $13,170 of our expenses for Sprout's adoption. (Check out this blog for more specifics.)

As for most adoptive parents, figuring out how to finance the costs has not been easy for us (although we have no doubt that it is completely, 100% worth it). But this should ease the burden for us significantly. Another reason for us to celebrate!!

Court Date AT LAST!!

2010-03-24T18:07:00.000-07:00

Woooohooooooo!! We were over-the-moon excited to find out this morning that our court date has finally come through -- April 8, only two weeks away!!

Our coordinator Megan called us first thing this morning with the news. She said it's very likely we hold the record for the longest wait for court in the history of WACAP's Ethiopia program, nearly 7 weeks. What a tough, tough 7 weeks it's been too, looking at Sprout's sweet face every day and hearing no news at all to sustain us. But at last we're moving forward to bringing our boy home!

Maybe the best news in all of this is that we will NOT have to travel twice. Huge, huge sigh of relief on that front. While we certainly understand what the Ethiopian government is trying to achieve with this kind of stipulation, it would have been very tough for us on a number of levels, mainly trying to scramble to organize travel and sort out all of the details. It is still unclear whether or not this two-trip rule will definitely be instituted. Agency coordinators were scheduled to meet with court officials last week, but the meeting was postponed and has not at this point been rescheduled. Our thoughts continue to be with families who haven't received referrals or court dates yet, as they may very well be dealing with the two-trip protocol in the future.

And now, off to begin the mother of all to-do lists. . . that should keep us both busy for the next two weeks! :)

Six Years and Counting

2010-03-21T10:25:00.000-07:00

Six years of sharing a closet, a bank account, and a Netflix queue (guess which one requires the most give-and-take). I can hardly believe it! Thanks for six wonderful years, sweetie -- and here's to many more happy years to come.

Congrats!

2010-03-16T17:43:00.000-07:00

Huge gigantic congratulations to our friends Marc and Germaine, who passed court today! They are now officially the parents of darling little B. He's beautiful, and we are so, so happy for them! With luck they will be traveling to bring him home by early May at the latest. Hooray!! And thanks to them for letting us share in their joy!

In other news -- there is no other news. Still waiting, still hoping. And still holding on.

Hanging In, Holding On

2010-03-12T19:46:00.000-08:00

Today Sprout is 10 months old.

We had really hoped to have some cool news (like, you know, a court date) to post by this time. But we don't. In fact, we're still in limbo as regards the court situation.

And then this week came news that the U.S. Embassy is instituting new steps in reviewing cases before issuing visas for travel. This wasn't too surprising to us, and although it may add a few weeks to our timeline, we weren't much fazed by this.

But then, right on the heels of that announcement, came word that the Ethiopian government is considering requiring both adoptive parents to travel to meet their child prior to court proceedings. And then traveling again a few months later to pick up their child. BOTH parents. For at least one parent, two trips.

We were stunned. As hard as it has been for us to come to terms with the fact that Jake won't be able to travel, we recognize that there is little choice for us. This is a tough journey for everyone -- looooong flight, major time difference, altitude -- but for Jake it would be unbelievably hard, maybe impossible. So there's that. And then also there's the cost of two trips (not a small consideration), the time off work (again not a small thing), and the stress. Plus there's the idea that we would get to hold our son, kiss him and play with him and bond with him, and then leave him behind. I cannot fathom what that would feel like.

This is, by the way, a common requirement for adoption from many other countries. And it's a good one, in order to ensure that the adoptive parents are completely prepared for what they are getting into, so that everyone involved has a bit of time to be introduced to one another, before the whole thing is signed and sealed. So we do support this measure, as all measures that are designed to make sure that adoptions are upfront, aboveboard, fully legal and ethical on all levels.

But for us, having gone through the process so far knowing how things work, and being so close to having Sprout legally declared our son, and to hear this -- well, it's been a stressful few days as we wait for more answers. We don't yet know when this policy will be instituted, but we are hopeful, as is our agency, that this may not be an issue for us as our documents have already been submitted to the court (even though we do not have an official court date). In lieu of that, if two trips are required, we are hopeful that there will be some sort of medical exemption that will allow only one of us (yours truly) to travel. Even so, the financial considerations and emotional toll are significant.

So we're asking you for all your best wishes, your prayers, good karma, blessings, positive energy, good vibes -- send whatever you've got and whatever you believe in. Until we have answers, Sprout remains in the orphanage, and while he is getting great care there, we need this to work out, and soon. We need to get our son home, for all of us.

But the week didn't end on an entirely frustrating note. We've received a lot of loving support from family, friends, coworkers. Thanks to them, we're hanging in and holding on. And best of all, tonight I came home to find a package for Sprout in the mailbox from Jake's wonderful cousin Sara: a very sweet card and Sprout's first piece of WSU swag, this adorable Cougar onesie. Thanks Sara, it's super cute, and we can't wait to see our boy wearing it!!

(More) Adventures in Waiting

2010-03-04T20:34:00.000-08:00

Happy news for several WACAP families yesterday. All of them had had their court cases postponed until the middle of March, due to factors beyond WACAP's control and nothing to do with their cases. But yesterday, at least four families received phone calls that they had passed court unexpectedly. Yippee!! We are thrilled for these families, who can at last begin to make plans to bring their little ones home!

We continue to wait for news of our court date. Tomorrow is one month exactly since we received our referral. With luck, it won't be much longer before we know when our case will be presented -- although a surprise "you passed!" call would be much welcomed news as well!

Jake finished his hepatitis series today, and I have an appointment for my last shot coming up. (Jake hates needles with a passion -- and I mean HATES them -- but I know he loves his boy because he didn't hesitate a minute in getting not just one but three hep shots. What a great dad he is already!) This week I've also been checking out the rest of the vaccinations I will need for travel, as well as sorting out what prescriptions I will need for myself and for Sprout. A very kind WACAP mom took the time to answer a ton of my food- and travel-related questions earlier this week. Thanks Marianne, I'll be hitting you up with more very very soon, I'm afraid! :)

And Maxie is making tentative peace with Sprout's Panda, though she's still giving it a wide berth in the living room. What I wouldn't give to know what she thinks it's doing here!

One of a Kind

2010-02-28T10:21:00.000-08:00

Yet another reason that ours is not like every other house on the block:

We love it. Maxie's not so sure.

Doesn't every boy need one?? Thanks George and Stacey!

Hold Please

2010-02-26T18:38:00.000-08:00

Contrary to what you might expect, the waiting doesn't end with the referral.

Today is three weeks since we saw Sprout's sweet face, and we're really no closer to a court date than we were then. Sigh. Whoever said adoption is not for the faint of heart was dead on because really, this is all about patience, patience, patience.

And also, about staying away from the break room at work when these suckers are in there. Evil, evil Girl Scouts and their damn Thin Mints. . . so good and yet so, so bad! :)

"Those Parents"

2010-02-23T20:45:00.000-08:00

It's happened -- we're turning into "those parents". You know, the ones who show their baby's pictures to everyone and babble incessantly about every bit of trivia. If you see us on a regular basis, you know that we're just over the moon for this boy, and can't stop showing him off!

By the way, I didn't mention it in our last post but we also received a 2 minute VIDEO of Sprout with some of his caregivers at the orphanage. We wanted to keep it secret until we'd had a chance to share with family. What a great surprise it was for both them and us! We feel very blessed to have such a gift, especially when a lot of families haven't been able to get more than just a few photos.

It is truly invaluable to get to see Sprout interacting, and puts a lot of the photos into the proper context. For example, in a couple of the pictures where he's sitting up, he's kind of propped up on his hands. Our IA medical specialist was a bit concerned about this, wondering if Sprout had the strength to sit up all the way. Well, after viewing the video we completely understand why he's sitting that way: the photos were taken at the same time the video was shot, it was relatively late at night, and our boy is clearly pretty tired. But he can definitely sit up like a trooper when properly motivated. Someone's cell phone rings in the background and Sprout sits up completely straight and hones right in on that -- super observant, our boy.

Still waiting to hear about a court date, but until then, if you need us, we'll be watching our favorite new movie every chance we get!

Two Weeks Later

2010-02-21T10:58:00.000-08:00

It's been just over two weeks since we saw Sprout's face for the first time, and what a whirlwind of activity it's been! Things we've been working on since we received our referral:

1. Sprout's room. You may recall that we painted his room last July, but that's about all we've done. Waiting is tough, and if the room was sitting there all ready to go for him -- well, I'm not sure how I'd handle that. So now we've been sorting the rest of our stuff out of his room, organizing the toys that we've already been handed down (thanks to his wonderful cousins Cody and Cory!), and setting up his dresser and closet.

2. Shopping. Now that we FINALLY know how old Sprout is, we could begin to buy him some much-needed clothes, shoes, hats, and age-appropriate toys. We went out with grandma last weekend and got some great things for our boy. Can't wait to see him wearing them!

3. Daycare. Contacted the three programs that we are waitlisted for, and were finally able to give them a name and (very rough) estimate of when we need care. Whew.

4. Care package. Our agency allows us to send one gallon-size ziploc bag of items to Sprout. Yikes, how to condense what we're feeling for him into one plastic bag?? We settled on two onesies, a blanket, a rattle and a photo album (with photos of us, the house, and Maxie) that he can play with and chew on. Oh, and all the love we can pack in alongside the material goods.

5. Registering. We've got a rough idea of what we might need now, so started registries at Target and Babies R Us. The best part of that is we got to skip all the newborn stuff (breast pumps and pack 'n plays) and head straight to the toys. Sweet!

But, by far the best part of the past two weeks was that we received a developmental progress report and. . . 13 MORE PHOTOS!!!!!

We didn't know we were getting these, so when Jake received a packet from WACAP on Wednesday he assumed it was another volley of the (seemingly endless) paperwork. But no, it was more pictures of our boy! Even though they're not the best shots ever, we've pored over them for the past several days, drinking in every glimpse of the most beautiful boy ever (really, he is -- we're not at all biased). Developmentally, he's doing better than we could have hoped: "babbling freely", crawling, pulling himself up to a stand in his crib. And by all accounts he's curious, observant and very calm. A total rock star.

This next week we'll be keeping the good thought for our friends Marc and Germaine, as they have court on Thursday. And of course hoping to hear about a court date for Sprout too -- the sooner the better, because we can't wait to get our boy home!

You Just Got Your Referral -- Now What?

2010-02-15T19:52:00.000-08:00

First, thank you to everyone who's been so excited for us at receiving Sprout's referral! We're pretty thrilled, and in typical first-time parent fashion have been running off at the mouth about our boy to everyone who will listen. So thank you for your excitement, acceptance and support, we're grateful!

A lot of people have asked us what the next step is, and when Sprout is coming home. The short answer is, we're not quite sure when he'll be here (which is really fun to put on daycare applications -- "we don't know yet, we'll call you!"). This weekend we finished filling out all the paperwork to accept his referral, after consulting with an international medicine specialist who reviewed Sprout's paperwork and gave us an idea of what we can expect for him health-wise. We'll send that in to WACAP this week, and then we'll begin waiting to be assigned a court date.

The court hearing in Ethiopia is the process whereby our agency representative will present our case to the Ethiopian court, who will then declare Sprout legally our son. We will not be present at this hearing, so we'll be hanging anxiously around our cell phones and email waiting for news. Our agency has a terrific track record of passing court the first time out, although there's always the possibility of the case being postponed for some reason. Right now we are expecting to wait about a month to be assigned a court date, which will probably be as much as a month or two out in the future. Yep, more waiting -- but we figure we're pretty much pros at it by this point!

Everything kicks into high gear once we pass court. Approximately 3-4 weeks after that, I will be traveling to Ethiopia, accompanied by at least one of Sprout's intrepid aunties. Our hope is that we will be able to visit Sprout's orphanage and possibly meet family members or caregivers. This is going to be a lifechanging and incredible experience.

I'm extremely sad that Jake won't be able to be traveling, but he'll be at home manning the fort during that time: cooking, cleaning, running errands and such, essentially preparing us to drop out of the world for a couple of weeks when Sprout and I come home. During that time, our focus will be on Sprout, on helping him learn to trust us and to attach to us, on ensuring that he knows that we will take care of him and will not abandon him. We fully expect that this is going to be a rough patch, and we'll be scouring blogs and message boards for advice on how best to bond with our son.

So that's the process, more or less. It'll take, we expect, around 2-4 more months before Sprout is home with us. In the meantime, it's going to be a wild ride getting our house ready for the newest member and trying to anticipate the journey ahead. We're so excited, we can hardly stand it -- hooray!! :)